Nothing lasts

The fall his here. People have dressed up in their Gore-Tex jackets, fleece and gloves. The fall isn't too bad, at least on a day like this. I was home alone, and the weather was nice, at least before noon. It was sunny, at least before  noon, some wind, and relatively warm in the streets that are shielded from the wind. And it was Premier League on TV, the first game starting at 13:30.

I went to the town center in the morning. I went to the Apple Store, because I had to buy a new headset for my iPhone. I hate talking on the phone, but I use it a lot to listen to audio books and podcasts. My old headset was broken, so I had to get a new one.

There's nothing that lasts anymore, at least not consumer good and electronics. But there are other things that last too long. Marriage, for instance. When the kids are grown up, the parenting job is done, we should just say thank you for the time that passed. It's time to move on. Now we let each other free, and just continue as friends for the rest of our lives. That's the way it should be.

On the way back home I stopped by a coffee shop, and bought the coffee of the day. All the tables were taken, but in the end, I got a small one by the door. It was a little bit chill, a cold gust coming from the door every time someone went in or out. It's OK. That's life. What scares me the most is the cold gust when someone leaves.

There were some families with noisy kids. I think I have lost the patience with this kind of behavior. Maybe I've gotten too old, or maybe I was just very lucky with my boys. They were never fussy nor noisy.  Heritage or environment? Probably both.

Walking back home, I found myself in the middle of a pride parade. I didn't know about it. There were a lot of people. I didn't know there are so many gays and lesbians around. Or maybe they were gays with friends. I don't know. I have nothing against gays, not at all, but they never impressed me. Anyway, I read in the news some time ago that  in 2018 lesbians was the most viewed category on PornHub. This year, maybe there will be a new winner.

But who cares >:)

(Picture taken this morning, when the sun was shining, before the rain came in)

The long way out

It's been a cold summer so far, but now the nice and warm weather was back, finally. It was Saturday, and Tom snare was alone. He gt a message from his soulmate Anna. She was a little bit drugged, on paint. She was painting the house, with oil-based paint.

Tom had a little bit headache. He had headache all day, but now it was fading out, finally. Great. Hardly  anything feels better than a headache going away. Tom decided to go for an evening walk, to get some fresh air. He walked down to the town center, towards the fjord.

He passed over the old town bridge, which is for pedestrians only now. In the past it was open for cars. He remembered the truck that got stuck in the portal over the bridge. This was long time ago. Many things are long time ago. The past is longer than the future, at least for Tom Snare. That's good. He's happy about this. Most things are done. There's not much left that he has to do; only a couple of things. This time he will make it, even though he has failed many times before.His failures were more frequent than his successes, but now was the time for change.

Down in the canal there were lots of boats. Old wooden boats, gathered for some kind of cultural event. Many small boats, a few big boats. In the boats sat groups of friends, talking, laughing and drinking beer. Tom was alone. Tom doesn't have many friends. Not here, not anywhere else. He only has a couple of good friends. That's OK. Tom manage on his own. He enjoys his own company, part of them time.

Tom walked along the quay, watching the old wooden boats, and watching the women. He enjoyed the view of the the hubby ones, with big butts and thick thighs, but not the thin and skinny. Thin women are like thin coffee; taste no good. 

The boats were floating on the canal, the canal ended in the fjord, and the fjord ended in the open ocean. The way to the world, the way to freedom. Lucky are those who have such boats. They can go far. 

Tom had seen enough. There was nothing of interest left to excite him, nothing to make him hard. It would be left for a later occasion. On the way back home, he stopped by a pub and bought a beer. He found a free table outside on the street, between groups of friends talking about uninteresting things; bachelor parties, halibut fishing and hip.hop music.

Tom thinks of Anna, who is drugged on paint. He has to laugh. Someone picked up a guitar, and started to play. It was late. Tom emptied his beer. Then he walked back home. Good night Tom Snare. Sweet dreams.

(Boats along the canal, needless to say)

15 days in Tom Snare’s life

Just some old fiction from my notebook. Now, many years later, at least, it feels like fiction. Maybe it is just fiction after all? Yes, probably it is.

Day 1:

Tom Snare hugged Anna and said goodbye. He felt sad because he wouldn’t see her for 14 days. Then he left for the mountains.

Day2:

The SMS Anna sent him last night made him annoyed. She accused him of not telling the truth, not the full truth at least. She confronted him with questions from the past (did you have intimacy with her?). She was cross-checking his answers like a police investigator.

Tom was sick and tired of expressive women. They talk too much and ask too much, all the time. Tom just wants his freedom, but will he ever get it? Later, when Tom hiked the mountains, he felt it was good to get a break from Anna. But he missed her too. He didn’t miss her salty oyster, but he missed her hugs.

Day 3:

Tom was mad at Anna. She accused him of things he didn’t feel guilty of. They both had their wounds, they both have their pain.

Later. Tom was not really mad anymore. The pain was not too bad. He was getting used to it. Anna felt betrayed because Tom didn’t tell the full truth. Or maybe he did. Maybe he had a reason, whatever he did.

There’s no such thing as happiness. It comes only in short moments. Colorful dots of happiness on a gray canvas of sadness. That night he found one of the colorful dots, in the literature created by Murakami.

Day 4:

The weather was gray and cloudy. So was Tom’s mind. In the evening he met Anna and found a moment of relief. When they said goodbye and parted, he was so sad. Is this the end, or just a new beginning?

Day 5:

Is it all over? Was it just a dream. No it can’t be the case because the feelings are so real. Sometimes he thinks that women require too much. Why can’t we just be friends? It’s all or nothing. Exclusive love.  It makes it all so difficult.

Go left, go right, or die. Make your decision and stick to it. You won’t get another chance. If Anna considered herself free and single, yes, that would take a weight off his shoulders. It would make it easier to feel the love, and nothing but the love. Own yourself. Own nobody else.

Day 6:

Tom missed Anna at the gym. He was running on the treadmill. Running and running. His legs were aching. Come on Tom, you deserve this. Some pain is good for you, you bastard. Think about the things you did, and the things you didn’t. You may be a good buy from time to time, but that’s not what we are talking about today. It’s all the bad stuff. You deserve some suffering now.

Day 7:

Tom slept with sweet dreams about Anna. He woke up with a big hard on, and couldn’t get back to sleep. He was so much looking forward to see Anna again.

Later, when they met in the botanic garden, he was excited by her new tight pants.

Day 8:

It was early in the evening on a day in October. The sun was low. The shadows were long. Tom Snare walked down the street where he lives. He looked down in the pavement while he was walking. 

Walking and walking and walking. Suddenly he came to a fence. It was the end of the street. He had already passed his own house. What was on your mind today Tom? You’re so absent-minded. Wake up.

Day 9:

Anna was back. She had been sick for a while, but today she was back. When he met her, Tom felt the spark. His physical reaction was accordingly, and so was her.

A thrill of excitement.

Day 10:

Tom visited the public library. There’s nothing like a good read.

Day 11:

Tom worked all day, doing real work, in his house.

Day 12:

A full day of hard work. Dirty work. Tom’s face was black like an African.

Tom day-dreamed while he was working. He dreamed about a threesome, with Anna and an African girl.

Day 13:

Tom took an extra teabag from the cantina at lunch. His favorite tea, English breakfast. He saved it for later, when Tom and Anna was going for tea. So enjoyable, sitting there in the sofa, drinking tea, and Anna’s hands exploring, under his shirt.

Then, after work, time for a workout in the gym. Tom ran on the treadmill. He felt in good shape and in good mood. Anna was back, in her tight sports outfit. He watched her thighs when she exercised and stretched.

It was a good day.

Day 14:

Going on the plane to somewhere. Going to wherever. Tom traveled alone. He recalled memories of more exciting trips in the past.  Good memories for sure.

Three hours later, Tom sat with his back against the wall. Not threatened, not depressed, but literally speaking against the wall. He bought a cup of coffee and a croissant at the bakery at the mall.

He found a table in the corner where he could see what was going on, while reading a little bit, in a book he just bought. A book written by a dark soul, a man who ended his life, way too early. It was a big contrast to how Tom felt. Happy and in a good mood, even though it was raining outside.

Maybe it was because of the pictures Anna sent him last night, pictures of natural beauty, a wonderful product of evolution.

Where’s the toilet? Tom had to pee. It was his only problem right now.

Day 15:

It was early in the morning. Very early in the morning. Tom was up to catch a plane. It happened to be Tom’s birthday.

So what?  

Tom is not interested in birthdays, nor Christmas, nor any celebration related to the random number 365, which happen to be the number of days it takes to orbit the sun, for the Earth, and probably only for the Earth. This is interesting only from an astronomic point of view. Birthday and Christmas celebrations are for kids, age 12 and younger.

Tom was sitting in the plane, tired, but happy, because he knew that he would meet Anna in less than two hours.

(A and a random picture to celebrate the mood of the bright days)

Summer

I'm walking back home on a light summer night. It's cold.It's light. It's summer in the north. It's the summer of the north at it's best. It's been a long day, with meetings at work. then a geology filed trip to watch some black smokers, turned upside down, Like my life feels like right now.

Then a five-course dinner in an excellent restaurant, with good colleagues and friends. I only missed my soulmate, who wasn't there. I wonder what shes's doing right now, if she's wet and thinking of something exciting and fun things to do.

We philosophized a little bit about how lucky we are, Among the 8-9 billion people in the world, we happened to be born and to live in this rich and wealthy country. Life isn't too bad, even is the gearbox broke down on our bus on the way back to town. I could have been worse,

On the way back home, a little bit drunk, I stopped by a pub, to write these silly words. I know I'm a privileged guy, and I appreciate it very much. I just hope my soulmate is doing fine too.

(Picture taken around midnight today, on the way back home)

An evening with the nerds

I was out with some friends and colleagues tonight. We went to hear a presentation about the 16 official world champions of chess, from the first champ Willem Steinitz, to the reigning champion, Magnus Carlsen. Two weird guys who have written a book about these 16 champs presented the story. It was an evening with nerds. The kind of stuff I like. Very enjoyable.

It was a great presentation, the kind of stuff I enjoy, besides science, of course. The lecture room was filled with these people who watch the chess world championship broadcast, for hours and hours. Very cool.

And then we went out to drink some beers, and discuss chess, and science and mathematics and physics. All the good stuff that life has to offer, except skiing, which wasn’t much of a topic tonight.

And we discussed climate change in the way climate change should be discussed. The science, not just the political crap that we hear all the time, from people who don't understand how the Navier-Stokes equations works. Discussing climate change is a lot more interesting when you talk to people who are scientists and mathematicians, and who know more than just to repeat that stupid argument that all scientists agree. Consensus is not an argument in science. Remember what good old Feynman said:

Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.

The first beer was not so good. It had some grape juice mixed in. The second one was better, a clean pure IPA. And the I went home, and I felt this urgent need to write something.

(Picture taken tonight)

VIP zone

I'm at the Alpine Racing World Championship, working as one of the 1400 volunteers. Today was the Super-G race. I worked outdoor in the VIP zone at the race arena. That's where the important people from FIS (the international skiing federation) and the national skiing associations sit, together with their invited guests. Austrian Ski Team, Swiss Ski Team, US Ski Team, Alpine Canada, Audi, Carlsberg ...

The spoiled and well-fed brats get their three-course lunches for free. Ten steps away is the VIP stand with prime view to the finish area. We checked their VIP accreditations, and guided them to their warm and exclusive restaurant.

And we chased ordinary people away.

We told the poor guys to go to the other side of the arena, and line up to buy hot-dogs and burgers. Be happy that we let you watch the race at all. You know, we have to obey Pareto's Law (economics), also known as the Matthew Principle (Matt. 25:29):

"For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the ones who do not have, even what he has will be taken away from him."

That's life. That's how our world works. Like it or not. It's class society.

It was a nice and cold day. From my work area, I had a perfect view to the race.  Very good >:)

(Picture taken today at the race.)