Charlie is back

Last week, we were shocked by the acts of terror in Paris. This week, Charlie Hebdo is back with a new issue. That’s great.  The artists and cartoonists are brave.  

I think duck liver is a hype, but I always liked the French cheese, and the French attitude to freedom of speech. Charlie Hebdo’s satire offends the Muslims. That’s fine. They just have to learn to live with it, like the Christians, Jews and Satanists have learnt.

What’s holy for you is not holy for me.  Mocking the gods and prophets can be fun, for sure. But blasphemy is more than entertainment. Blasphemy is an important part of the freedom of speech. Religion mixed with a political agenda is a bad combo, because it makes the agenda indisputable. Who are you to challenge God?

• Imagine Obama coming to The House proposing a new law received from God, and the Republicans could do nothing to stop it. 
• Imagine the Labor party coming to the Parliament with a political program given by God, and Cameron had to approve it right away. 

The French and the Americans (I think) were the first to develop a secular constitution. This is very important, splitting governing, legislative and religious power. Turkey is Muslim-secular, but develops in the wrong direction. Many Muslim countries are stuck in their political-religious swamp. The list of ridiculous laws and rules coming out of religion is endless:

• Women are not allowed to watch football games (Iran)
• Women are not allowed to drive cars (Saudi)
• Death penalty for blasphemy (Pakistan)
• Separate ski lifts for men and women (Iran)
• One-hour marriage with prostitutes (which makes prostitution compliant with the Quran; Bahrain).
• Men can’t sit next to women on airplanes (orthodox Jews)
• Women can’t become priests (Catholics)
• Priests must live in celibate (Catholics)
• Ban on condoms (Catholics)

None of these rules come from God. They were invented by powerful people as tools to control people. When rules can't be justified by rational arguments, the easiest solution is God. No wonder religious authorities  who make up such laws and rules (and their Prophets and Gods) become subject to satire and blasphemy.

The French author Michel Houellebecq once said that “among all ridiculous religions, Islam is the most stupid”. He was taken to court in Paris for this statement, but was acquitted based on freedom of speech. They are all about equally bad; I dislike religion in general. 

I have plenty of religous books in my shelf; the Bible, the Quran and the Book of Mormon, and I have read a fair part of them (but far from everything). Sharia is mostly useless as legislation for the modern world. But taking the worst of the Bible, it would make a pretty bizarre law too.

Some of the religious texts can be quite entertaining. Once we had fun drinking beer and reading load from the Quran in a pub up north. I think the pub was a safe place for our blasphemy. It's an unlikely place to meet jihadists and inquisition.

In Satan we trust >:)

(Cover page of this week's issue of Charlie Hebdo; link to WIkipedia. The text above Muhammsd's head says "Everything is forgiven".)

Forty days and forty nights

The forty last days had been great, enjoying life, together with his buddies, and with her. But now his time had come. They were just waiting for this little rain shower to pass. Maybe it was a sign. It hardly ever rained in this arid area.

When he he rolled the big rock to the side, and walked out of the dark cave, she was the first to meet him.
- When I was sitting alone, in the dark, and my only entertainment was to touch myself, I saw you soft body before me, he said.
- So good to have you back, she said.
- I will not stay long, I'm leaving again soon.
She went down on her knees, and kissed his feet, and then rose the upper part of her body. He looked down on her black hair.
- Everybody are kissing my feet, but only you gratify my entire body and soul, he said and moaned.

Last night they had a big party. All the guys were there, all the eleven who was still with him, and her, of course.
- Cheers, have some more to drink, he said. - If we run out of wine, I'll just make some more.
They all laughed at his joke. Around midnight they were all drunk.
- Time to go to bed, he said. - My mission is completed. I'm leaving early tomorrow.
They all nodded silently. She touched his shoulder and whispered in his ear:
- You have one more mission to complete tonight.
She led his hand between her legs. He rubbed her thighs, and slowly moved his hand over her soft hair. Sliding his middle finger along her cleft, he could feel that she was moist and ready, in the dry and dark desert night.

The rain was over, the sun was shining again.
- Are you ready? they said. -Let's go.
- Yes, I'm ready,
He kissed her forehead, and said:
- In my mind, I will always keep a picture of your pretty face, a picture that will never age.