Charlie is back

Last week, we were shocked by the acts of terror in Paris. This week, Charlie Hebdo is back with a new issue. That’s great.  The artists and cartoonists are brave.  

I think duck liver is a hype, but I always liked the French cheese, and the French attitude to freedom of speech. Charlie Hebdo’s satire offends the Muslims. That’s fine. They just have to learn to live with it, like the Christians, Jews and Satanists have learnt.

What’s holy for you is not holy for me.  Mocking the gods and prophets can be fun, for sure. But blasphemy is more than entertainment. Blasphemy is an important part of the freedom of speech. Religion mixed with a political agenda is a bad combo, because it makes the agenda indisputable. Who are you to challenge God?

• Imagine Obama coming to The House proposing a new law received from God, and the Republicans could do nothing to stop it. 
• Imagine the Labor party coming to the Parliament with a political program given by God, and Cameron had to approve it right away. 

The French and the Americans (I think) were the first to develop a secular constitution. This is very important, splitting governing, legislative and religious power. Turkey is Muslim-secular, but develops in the wrong direction. Many Muslim countries are stuck in their political-religious swamp. The list of ridiculous laws and rules coming out of religion is endless:

• Women are not allowed to watch football games (Iran)
• Women are not allowed to drive cars (Saudi)
• Death penalty for blasphemy (Pakistan)
• Separate ski lifts for men and women (Iran)
• One-hour marriage with prostitutes (which makes prostitution compliant with the Quran; Bahrain).
• Men can’t sit next to women on airplanes (orthodox Jews)
• Women can’t become priests (Catholics)
• Priests must live in celibate (Catholics)
• Ban on condoms (Catholics)

None of these rules come from God. They were invented by powerful people as tools to control people. When rules can't be justified by rational arguments, the easiest solution is God. No wonder religious authorities  who make up such laws and rules (and their Prophets and Gods) become subject to satire and blasphemy.

The French author Michel Houellebecq once said that “among all ridiculous religions, Islam is the most stupid”. He was taken to court in Paris for this statement, but was acquitted based on freedom of speech. They are all about equally bad; I dislike religion in general. 

I have plenty of religous books in my shelf; the Bible, the Quran and the Book of Mormon, and I have read a fair part of them (but far from everything). Sharia is mostly useless as legislation for the modern world. But taking the worst of the Bible, it would make a pretty bizarre law too.

Some of the religious texts can be quite entertaining. Once we had fun drinking beer and reading load from the Quran in a pub up north. I think the pub was a safe place for our blasphemy. It's an unlikely place to meet jihadists and inquisition.

In Satan we trust >:)

(Cover page of this week's issue of Charlie Hebdo; link to WIkipedia. The text above Muhammsd's head says "Everything is forgiven".)

Heaven and Hell

Heaven is a place where
the French are the chefs,
the Italians are the lovers,
the Swiss are the bankers,
the Germans are the engineers,
the English are the police.

Hell is a place where
the English are the chefs,
the Swiss are the lovers,
the Italians are the bankers,
the French are the engineers,
the Germans are the police.

Some funny European stereotypes. I don't know who invented this joke. It wasn't me. I learnt it from a Californian.

If you're a Satanist, you may want to swap Heaven and Hell. That's fine with me >:)

(I took the picture above when we visited Paris three years ago. The big walk-in map of Europe was in the park by the Eiffel Tower. The lines for the lift were endless, so we walked the stairs up the tower. I don't like climbing high, so little boy and I stopped at the first level. Older boy climbed up to the second level. That's the highest you can get by the stairs.)

Magret de canard

Fall is the time to fly south, when it’s cold and dark and rainy in the north, before the snow drapes the hills and mountains in white and the skiing starts. Last week we went down to the French Riviera for a few days, my old lady and I.

We explored the narrow streets and alleys of old Nice, had lunch with rose wine on Place Massena. We hiked around Cap Ferrat, and visited the old castle with the Picasso Museum in Antibes.

It’s pleasant to stay in southern France, and it’s always entertaining to watch the Frenchmen, when they’re riding scooters with designer suits and tie, and when they play boule in the parks, arguing intensively about who wins.

In the fall, when the days are warm and evenings are chill, the Frenchmen are never too warm and never really cold. They’re always something in between. When they’re half-cold, they carry a yellow or read wool sweater over the back, with arms tied loosely around the neck. When they’re three-quarters-cold, they hang a jacket over the shoulders, but without putting the arms in. That’s the way the French do it, no one but the French. To me it only looks awkward, and I have to smile every time I see it.

Then there is the food and the wine. In France you get the most hyped food, stuff that tastes like shit and costs a fortune, for instance frog legs and snails and duck liver. But there is delicious dishes too, like magret de canard (steak of duck), with orange gravy, or with honey and pepper gravy.

And I read some good books of course. This was my read:
The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Teriible story, great prose.
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Great story from Afghanistan.