A day for differentiation

The necessary holiday travels and visits are done. It wasn't much this year. Now I'm back home. That's good. I kind of like these corona times. There are fewer places I need to go, less people I need to visit. More time on my own. 

I have watched some football with the boys. Last night Leeds won 5-0 against West Bromwich. 

The winter has been crappy so far. Not much snow in my part of Winterland, and the borders are closed. No skiing.

The last couple of days I have been in the office to do some fun stuff, while everybody are gone, and the bosses don't send me mails. Today I finally found the time to do some math that I needed to work my way through. Just some straight forward differentiations. But I need to be focused, to get all the signs right.

(That's the summary of what I have produced today in the picture)

The darkest day

 

Today is the darkest day of the year, and the last day at work before Christmas. Maybe it’s the last day at work this year. It remains to see, depending on the weather during the holidays, which are not so holy for me.

This year has been special, with the COVID-19 stuff going on. Many days spent in home office, which is fine in many ways, but with too small computer screens, and somewhat monotonous surroundings. But sometimes it’s good to get out of the house. So today I’ve been sneaking into the office, to my big computer screens. That’s the good thing about having the boss in a different city, and even in a different country far away. He can’t see where I am and what I’m doing all the time.

Everything that needs to be done this year is finalized, so it’s time to do some clean-up, and some updates. Today I have updated Python, all the modules. The kind of things I don’t dare to do when I have urgent stuff going on. Don’t change things that works when there are deadlines coming up.

But now it’s done, and then it’s time to go home, on the darkest day, to prepare the Christmas celebrations that I dislike as much as I did last year and the year before.

Looking forward to January.

Back from the underground

We have been in lockdown due to COVID-19 for almost three months now. I've been working from home, from the basement, as an underground man. Today it's back to the office.

It's been weird times. I've been working in the basement, with my computer connected to the big TV that we normally use to watch Premier League football. I need two screens to get my work done efficiently. With no football games there hasn't been much  competition for the TV.

There hasn't been many places to go. No traveling at work, no weekend trips around Winterland. Just stay at home, work, eat, go for an evening walk in the almost empty streets. Fortunately the spring was late this year. It’s been good skiing conditions around town almost till the end of May. I’ve been up there cross-country skiing frequently.

The lockdown has had it’s advantages too. For an introvert the situation is quite easy to deal with. And just in case, to avoid infection, we had separate bedrooms. That’s what I have always wanted. Would be great to have it as a permanent solution, I think.

New times are starting today. Noting will be exactly like before, in many ways, I think and hope and fear. 

(Two pictures, taken recently, with only a week between)

Corona is here

The Corona virus has arrived. From today we are in lock-down. Schools are closed, sports events and concerts are cancelled. We're working from home, happy for Internet.

Now it's just about staying away from people, try to avoid getting infected. Doing my best >:)

Nothing lasts

The fall his here. People have dressed up in their Gore-Tex jackets, fleece and gloves. The fall isn't too bad, at least on a day like this. I was home alone, and the weather was nice, at least before noon. It was sunny, at least before  noon, some wind, and relatively warm in the streets that are shielded from the wind. And it was Premier League on TV, the first game starting at 13:30.

I went to the town center in the morning. I went to the Apple Store, because I had to buy a new headset for my iPhone. I hate talking on the phone, but I use it a lot to listen to audio books and podcasts. My old headset was broken, so I had to get a new one.

There's nothing that lasts anymore, at least not consumer good and electronics. But there are other things that last too long. Marriage, for instance. When the kids are grown up, the parenting job is done, we should just say thank you for the time that passed. It's time to move on. Now we let each other free, and just continue as friends for the rest of our lives. That's the way it should be.

On the way back home I stopped by a coffee shop, and bought the coffee of the day. All the tables were taken, but in the end, I got a small one by the door. It was a little bit chill, a cold gust coming from the door every time someone went in or out. It's OK. That's life. What scares me the most is the cold gust when someone leaves.

There were some families with noisy kids. I think I have lost the patience with this kind of behavior. Maybe I've gotten too old, or maybe I was just very lucky with my boys. They were never fussy nor noisy.  Heritage or environment? Probably both.

Walking back home, I found myself in the middle of a pride parade. I didn't know about it. There were a lot of people. I didn't know there are so many gays and lesbians around. Or maybe they were gays with friends. I don't know. I have nothing against gays, not at all, but they never impressed me. Anyway, I read in the news some time ago that  in 2018 lesbians was the most viewed category on PornHub. This year, maybe there will be a new winner.

But who cares >:)

(Picture taken this morning, when the sun was shining, before the rain came in)

The long way out

It's been a cold summer so far, but now the nice and warm weather was back, finally. It was Saturday, and Tom snare was alone. He gt a message from his soulmate Anna. She was a little bit drugged, on paint. She was painting the house, with oil-based paint.

Tom had a little bit headache. He had headache all day, but now it was fading out, finally. Great. Hardly  anything feels better than a headache going away. Tom decided to go for an evening walk, to get some fresh air. He walked down to the town center, towards the fjord.

He passed over the old town bridge, which is for pedestrians only now. In the past it was open for cars. He remembered the truck that got stuck in the portal over the bridge. This was long time ago. Many things are long time ago. The past is longer than the future, at least for Tom Snare. That's good. He's happy about this. Most things are done. There's not much left that he has to do; only a couple of things. This time he will make it, even though he has failed many times before.His failures were more frequent than his successes, but now was the time for change.

Down in the canal there were lots of boats. Old wooden boats, gathered for some kind of cultural event. Many small boats, a few big boats. In the boats sat groups of friends, talking, laughing and drinking beer. Tom was alone. Tom doesn't have many friends. Not here, not anywhere else. He only has a couple of good friends. That's OK. Tom manage on his own. He enjoys his own company, part of them time.

Tom walked along the quay, watching the old wooden boats, and watching the women. He enjoyed the view of the the hubby ones, with big butts and thick thighs, but not the thin and skinny. Thin women are like thin coffee; taste no good. 

The boats were floating on the canal, the canal ended in the fjord, and the fjord ended in the open ocean. The way to the world, the way to freedom. Lucky are those who have such boats. They can go far. 

Tom had seen enough. There was nothing of interest left to excite him, nothing to make him hard. It would be left for a later occasion. On the way back home, he stopped by a pub and bought a beer. He found a free table outside on the street, between groups of friends talking about uninteresting things; bachelor parties, halibut fishing and hip.hop music.

Tom thinks of Anna, who is drugged on paint. He has to laugh. Someone picked up a guitar, and started to play. It was late. Tom emptied his beer. Then he walked back home. Good night Tom Snare. Sweet dreams.

(Boats along the canal, needless to say)

15 days in Tom Snare’s life

Just some old fiction from my notebook. Now, many years later, at least, it feels like fiction. Maybe it is just fiction after all? Yes, probably it is.

Day 1:

Tom Snare hugged Anna and said goodbye. He felt sad because he wouldn’t see her for 14 days. Then he left for the mountains.

Day2:

The SMS Anna sent him last night made him annoyed. She accused him of not telling the truth, not the full truth at least. She confronted him with questions from the past (did you have intimacy with her?). She was cross-checking his answers like a police investigator.

Tom was sick and tired of expressive women. They talk too much and ask too much, all the time. Tom just wants his freedom, but will he ever get it? Later, when Tom hiked the mountains, he felt it was good to get a break from Anna. But he missed her too. He didn’t miss her salty oyster, but he missed her hugs.

Day 3:

Tom was mad at Anna. She accused him of things he didn’t feel guilty of. They both had their wounds, they both have their pain.

Later. Tom was not really mad anymore. The pain was not too bad. He was getting used to it. Anna felt betrayed because Tom didn’t tell the full truth. Or maybe he did. Maybe he had a reason, whatever he did.

There’s no such thing as happiness. It comes only in short moments. Colorful dots of happiness on a gray canvas of sadness. That night he found one of the colorful dots, in the literature created by Murakami.

Day 4:

The weather was gray and cloudy. So was Tom’s mind. In the evening he met Anna and found a moment of relief. When they said goodbye and parted, he was so sad. Is this the end, or just a new beginning?

Day 5:

Is it all over? Was it just a dream. No it can’t be the case because the feelings are so real. Sometimes he thinks that women require too much. Why can’t we just be friends? It’s all or nothing. Exclusive love.  It makes it all so difficult.

Go left, go right, or die. Make your decision and stick to it. You won’t get another chance. If Anna considered herself free and single, yes, that would take a weight off his shoulders. It would make it easier to feel the love, and nothing but the love. Own yourself. Own nobody else.

Day 6:

Tom missed Anna at the gym. He was running on the treadmill. Running and running. His legs were aching. Come on Tom, you deserve this. Some pain is good for you, you bastard. Think about the things you did, and the things you didn’t. You may be a good buy from time to time, but that’s not what we are talking about today. It’s all the bad stuff. You deserve some suffering now.

Day 7:

Tom slept with sweet dreams about Anna. He woke up with a big hard on, and couldn’t get back to sleep. He was so much looking forward to see Anna again.

Later, when they met in the botanic garden, he was excited by her new tight pants.

Day 8:

It was early in the evening on a day in October. The sun was low. The shadows were long. Tom Snare walked down the street where he lives. He looked down in the pavement while he was walking. 

Walking and walking and walking. Suddenly he came to a fence. It was the end of the street. He had already passed his own house. What was on your mind today Tom? You’re so absent-minded. Wake up.

Day 9:

Anna was back. She had been sick for a while, but today she was back. When he met her, Tom felt the spark. His physical reaction was accordingly, and so was her.

A thrill of excitement.

Day 10:

Tom visited the public library. There’s nothing like a good read.

Day 11:

Tom worked all day, doing real work, in his house.

Day 12:

A full day of hard work. Dirty work. Tom’s face was black like an African.

Tom day-dreamed while he was working. He dreamed about a threesome, with Anna and an African girl.

Day 13:

Tom took an extra teabag from the cantina at lunch. His favorite tea, English breakfast. He saved it for later, when Tom and Anna was going for tea. So enjoyable, sitting there in the sofa, drinking tea, and Anna’s hands exploring, under his shirt.

Then, after work, time for a workout in the gym. Tom ran on the treadmill. He felt in good shape and in good mood. Anna was back, in her tight sports outfit. He watched her thighs when she exercised and stretched.

It was a good day.

Day 14:

Going on the plane to somewhere. Going to wherever. Tom traveled alone. He recalled memories of more exciting trips in the past.  Good memories for sure.

Three hours later, Tom sat with his back against the wall. Not threatened, not depressed, but literally speaking against the wall. He bought a cup of coffee and a croissant at the bakery at the mall.

He found a table in the corner where he could see what was going on, while reading a little bit, in a book he just bought. A book written by a dark soul, a man who ended his life, way too early. It was a big contrast to how Tom felt. Happy and in a good mood, even though it was raining outside.

Maybe it was because of the pictures Anna sent him last night, pictures of natural beauty, a wonderful product of evolution.

Where’s the toilet? Tom had to pee. It was his only problem right now.

Day 15:

It was early in the morning. Very early in the morning. Tom was up to catch a plane. It happened to be Tom’s birthday.

So what?  

Tom is not interested in birthdays, nor Christmas, nor any celebration related to the random number 365, which happen to be the number of days it takes to orbit the sun, for the Earth, and probably only for the Earth. This is interesting only from an astronomic point of view. Birthday and Christmas celebrations are for kids, age 12 and younger.

Tom was sitting in the plane, tired, but happy, because he knew that he would meet Anna in less than two hours.

(A and a random picture to celebrate the mood of the bright days)

Summer

I'm walking back home on a light summer night. It's cold.It's light. It's summer in the north. It's the summer of the north at it's best. It's been a long day, with meetings at work. then a geology filed trip to watch some black smokers, turned upside down, Like my life feels like right now.

Then a five-course dinner in an excellent restaurant, with good colleagues and friends. I only missed my soulmate, who wasn't there. I wonder what shes's doing right now, if she's wet and thinking of something exciting and fun things to do.

We philosophized a little bit about how lucky we are, Among the 8-9 billion people in the world, we happened to be born and to live in this rich and wealthy country. Life isn't too bad, even is the gearbox broke down on our bus on the way back to town. I could have been worse,

On the way back home, a little bit drunk, I stopped by a pub, to write these silly words. I know I'm a privileged guy, and I appreciate it very much. I just hope my soulmate is doing fine too.

(Picture taken around midnight today, on the way back home)